i gotta get my mouth on that

o.k. now that we got that laugh-o-rama of a first posting out of the way, let's move on. not too long ago, i found myself at the jumping off point of a relationship with a new boy. he used to call in the morning right after i stepped out of the shower and i wouldn't get dressed so i could let his voice roll over my nakedy body. he revealed that he had 'super powers' in the ways of giving oral lovin' and that he would love to prove it. now, it must be said that i'm no slouch- i am blessed with very little gag reflex, know how to keep my teeth out of the way, and genuinely dig getting a little (or a lot) of something in my mouth. but super powers? i don't know. it sounded to me like the gauntlet had been thrown.

so, i searched the net for some advanced techniques which would leave this boy sexxed up, spent, and satisfied. i wanted him to be chomping at the bit to unleash his full super poweriness all over my girly parts. many of you will know exactly what i found out there. plenty of 'hot facials' and cum pix, which, while being charming, are tough to cull specific advice from. i mean, the blonde girl with candy apple red nails seems to enjoy the dude gizzing in her face, but how does that help me? next up, i found a variety of weak, cosmo type advice such as "to get your man hot, take his penis out of his pants." wow! now that's mind blowing. or "use your tongue and mouth on his most sensitive parts." tongue and mouth, eh? that's so bizarre, it just might work. i even took a quiz on what type of oral sex tecnhique would work best for me and found out it would be a tongue piercing.

The Oral Sex Tip You Should Try Is: A Pierced Tongue

When it comes to oral, you've mastered almost every skill around

Besides digging through untranlated exotic sex manuals, you've got one option left

A pierced tongue is almost sure to drive anyone wild, but when combined with your skills...

Watch out! You'll be so good that if you're not careful, you might not have regular sex again




More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

is there no way i can be super hot and sexy without someone driving a spike through my tongue? losing hope, i found a magical site. specific, fully detailed, gorgeous techniques, with names like 'the butterfly' and 'the figure eight' and 'the swirly'. it was written by a gay man for other gay men to give terrific gay blow jobs and how cool is that? the best site ever. i took the advice, memorized it, tried it out on the boy, and can i just say? holy jesus christ god. he was a happy boy.

oh, and also, his super powers are totally legit.