hi...my name is

as a kid, my mom rarely called me by my given name. she worked up these two delightful nicknames which rendered the original moot. my childhood nombres des plumes? mona bona butt cheese and jezebel bubble butt. don't ask. i have no idea. she just loved them. they were like catnip nicknames for the lady. she would often call out to me, in front of large crowds of other children, (children with names like amber or holly or heather) "hey mona bona butt cheese, over here!" she taught them to my babysitter, a large jamaican gal who liked to drag me along on shoplifting errands to thrifty, with her. she would nudge me down the aisles urging, "now pocket that lip smacker like a good jezebel bubble butt, baby." where do you think this desire to nickname comes from? i have a friend name carla. a simple, lovely, easy name. yet i insist on calling her 'carlita.' will is often 'prince will.' corey is 'babycakes.' is it some kind of brotherhood/otherhood bonding thing, where we need to brand people as our own? a way of defining them and bringing them closer to us?

or is it just me? maybe i inherited some misfiring nicknaming gene from my misfiring mom.