badass tribute

well, my jam tarts, my works of art. you've cast a spell on me (that's why I must steal from auden). I'm going away for a bit to witness the gettin' hitched of two of my favorite people.

so. since he is the badass cowboy from the westside AND since he does his own mom so good (wah?) I've asked a certain boy to write a wicked tribute post for my own mom whose bday is Saturday. Take it away...........

Thanks Mona, I appreciate the chance to say a few words about your mom. Hey do you always post topless, like this? I'm getting of the topic now...where was I?

Wait!

Sorry there was milk shooting out of my nose for a second. I'm ready now.

Hi readers of Imperial Violet, I'm Will. Some of you may know me from this site, while others may know me for my work here or for my environmental activism. How you know me doesn't matter much though because today I am here to pay tribute to one of Americas finest ladies, Miss Colorado Springs 1968, co-star of the classic film Behind The Green Door and voted most likely to not relapse by the Tarzana Treatment Center class of 1982....Mona's mom Joanne.

That Joanne sure is one classy lady...growing up, most kids only had one dad, but not Mona, she had lots of them. Sometimes every week she's get a new one. I was so jealous when we were kids because I only had one dad. Also my mom never played fun games like your mom did, games like, "Drop your child off with strangers and disappear" or "skinny dipping with strangers while the kids are nearby". Mona you were one lucky kid.

Your mom was funny too, remember how she'd come to pick you up from school and she'd stumble around and talk funny like she was pretending she had too much to drink? Oh and remember how we could always eat as much ice cream as we wanted and stay up all night as long as we were quiet and didn't scare off your new dad. I always liked playing at your house better than at mine, and not just because you played spin the bottle so well, or because your mom would sometimes play just me and her after you left the room. What I really liked was the way everyone was accepted there. You didn't need a classy education, or morality of a clean police record, or even to know your mom to spend some time over your mom's place and hang out with us. She let anyone play with us as long as we didn't tell our teachers about her "special cigarettes" and her "massager" that we found. Yeah those were good times.

Ever since she moved away in the middle of the night I've missed her. Joanne wherever you are, come home. We still have some sanity left.