heartbreaker, drinkmaker

i wandered into this bit of information today-hostess producets hide a certain secret meatiness. as a vegetarian (and ding dong lover), i raised the alarm amongst my non meat eating comrades. they responded with a resounding ho hum. chris, blase, "yeah, everyone knows hostess is full of beef lard."

oh, everyone. as usual, that means " everyone minus me." it's a re-occuring theme. singing bad pat benatar "you're a heartbreaker, drink maker, love taker-"

w cut in- "drink maker? that doesn't even make sense. it's dream maker."

i stood my ground- 'dream maker, you know like he's always sexy and making drinks..." as they words fell from mouth i realized how moronic they were.

he just shook his head, laughing "my god, how do you make it through the day?"

third grade, my teacher said, in passing, "it's just like how your parents make you brush your teeth every day." horrified and hopelessly out of the loop, i looked at my classmates, happily nodding. 'yup, that's true.' i tried to process it. other parents demand teeth brushing. wow. "note to self, if ever invited to a sleep over, steal a toothbrush first." check.

this is how i cobble through life. haplessly underprepared. routinely blindsided by new information big and small. patched together with tape and bobby pins.

as my dad would say "seriously kid, the amount of shit you don't know."

did you guys hear cell phones can cause brain tumors?