play book

they say that the notion of 'team spirit' is lost on our generation. that we are slackery, over-fed, over-indulged, over-sexxed babies who think only of ourselves.

we are not the folks who 'take one for the team."

not the folks who do it "for the gipper."

fie on them! (strictly speaking all of the above is true of me) but i'm ready to step up to the plate and do my part.

we have here a classic scenario, you've heard it dozens of times. an unbearably cute straight boy gets a recurring role on the showtime series 'queer as folk'. he takes wing to the gayest land on earth, toronto. there, he gets all erotic with the boys on the show, discovers high fashion and fabulosity and madonna and leaves his love of the womens behind for the meatier pleasures of man-love.

that's how the story usually goes. but not this time, goddamn it. not. this. time.

please don't misuderstand (or misunderestimate) me. i love gay men. almost every single close friend of mine is a gay man. i am surrounded and well loved and astounded by the kindness and creativity and warmth of my homo-husbands. but, you see? i don't need any more gay men in my life. my roster is full. no room even for a switch hitter.

so it is that i receive my calling with a full heart. to take one for the team and keep this boy batting for the heteros.

the question is, how? what is it that keeps staight boys on the narrow?

does anyone have a play book i can borrow?