i really can't be going, i must stay

the hockey game let out early.

we were eating frittes drenched in mayo, fresh from the free clinic, having a really good discussion with alanis morrisette. (i think she finally gets that '10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife' is not ironic) it was a break-through.

my thoughts were already on later, when i would buy my beaver tail and become ro's bitch. but first, i had to check my email.

and there it was. my thank-you note from john kerry. it began, "Dear Angelia." (oh, that's my birth certificate name) and i started to cry. not because some automated program plugged in my name right after "Dear Adam" and before "Dear Apple". but because i realized there is an adam and an apple and a jen and jen and amanda and will and dan and on and on and on out there.

and it is our country too. and it may have fallen sway to a mutant strain, a virulent fever fed on fear, mistrust, and hatred. it may be in the grips of the GUNS GOD AND GAYS folks. it may have been sold a bill of goods that is an awful, scary lie.

but i had to come home from lovely canada. because this is still our country. and i find so much in it to love daily. and if we can be smarter and work harder and understand and listen... i don't know. just maybe.

and there's always chocolate pudding.

and who would run my sex phone line?

all my american love, folks.