i don't want him, you can have him

driving down highland today, i passed a large billboard- stark, black with white lettering- which read

GO AHEAD, KEEP TAKING MY NAME IN VAIN, I'LL MAKE TRAFFIC WORSE
-GOD

let's just take it at face value, that god has taken time from his busy schedule to communicate with we, the unworthy masses. this is his message? this pissy, picayune, bratty piece of trash? we take the lords name in vain and are punished by his fucking with our ability to get to work on time? he can't think of any larger, more important admonishments? he's got nothing else on his godly mind? i'm practically an idiot, for godsakes, and i can think of better things to get on the human race's case about.

seriously, folks. if this is god, and this is how he uses his, well, god given powers, then screw him. i'd rather be a heathen than follow that petty bastard.

(unless he can absolutely promise me there will be unlimited amounts of cake, strangers with candy, and cursing in heaven)