put your worries on hold

it started the night al, from happy days, was bowling for the big championship. a strike meant victory, anything less, humiliation. i was sick and nervous for al, with his hound dog face and bad jokes. what if he lost and people didn’t like him anymore? unable to bear it, i turned down the sound and closed my eyes. when i dared open them, everyne was cheering and hugging al, and all were well. except me. i was sweating bullets.

to this day, i have a deep fear and hatred of seeing people shamed. even jerks, even the no good cheatin’ scoundrels on jerry springer, what deserve a comeuppance. i can’t watch. even those who are mostly to blame for all they’ve hurt, like courtney love. i can’t watch her self destruct on howard stern.

it’s bad, in general, but when i really care about someone, it’s hell. which leads me to the past two weeks. avoiding late night t.v., refusing to read music reviews. staying away from amoeba.

beastie boys were a big part of my life when they were young and I was younger. because they were bratty jewish boys- smart, funny, irreverent, in on the joke. because i honestly believed, one day, i might stand a chance with ad rock. because i know every rhyme and when we go to new york, i insist on rapping (so sad, so true) the appropriate passages as we hit the landmarks.

they sang “24’s my age and 22’s my guage” before i got there, and 24 seemed like a cool place to be. wherever the b-boys were seemed like a cool place to be.

there are bands i like better. music that resonates more deeply. lyrics that hit harder. but for me, no-one else grabbed the promise and fun and growing pains of being a kid and young adult (at this time and place), like they have.

i recently heard them referred to as ‘the rolling stones of rap.’ this filled my heart with dread. i don’t want the new album to be a re-tread. i don’t want people to say bad things about them. i don’t want to hear any pronouncements of their sun setting.

i want them brash and playful and evolving into really decent people. i want them to glitter and innovate. i want adam to retain his crushworthy sway with the ladie.

but instead of turning the volume down, i’m gonna shut the hell up, buy the album, and let the boroughs fall where they may.