ass grabbing good times

i didn't know anyone at the party and the friend who invited me hadn't shown up yet.

the hipster in the 'fuck art, let's dance!' tee shirt queried- "how do you know willie and kaye?"

i, always feeling like an interloper, like i have an illegally clubbed baby seal in my pocket, said-

"oh, i don't. but i'm allowed to be here. really. benno invited me."

"who the fuck's benno?"

"um, er, have you noticed my hot rack?"

when in doubt, play the rack card. then move on, quickly. met an 87 year old pathologist named milton, who still practices at a non-profit hospital downtown. five minutes in, i decided he was so inspiring, i should make him my own personal profit. then he started talking about how his brother invented the microwave. his sister flew jets in world war 2. his brother had a hospital named after him. either this kindly coot came from the magic family of all times or he was off his meds.

next up, came a cal arts grad student with a ebulient puppy dog air who decided that my real name would make a great swap for exclamations like "holy smokes!" or "oh my goodness!" so, randomly throughout the night, in different parts of the house i heard "angelia!" shouted gleefully. mmm, fun.

at midnight, mayhem abounded in kisses and cheers and general merriment. someone grabbed my ass. i asked who dunnit but no one would fess up.

though several others volunteered. before you know it, there was a small group of us, ass grabbing one another- patting, pinching, and even throwing in a genuine caress or two.

good times. happy '05, lovelies.