village idiot

you don't fuck with the l.a. county criminal court system.

it'll kick your ass.

it'll shoot you dead.

unless you're famous and kill/have killed your wife. in which case, go on, fuck with it. enjoy, bitch.

not meeting the above criteria, when my jury summons came, i filled it out like a good little citizen, and received my mandatory appearance date.

the other way to fuck with the court system is if you are a truly gifted and dorky badass.

it was early in our 'getting to know ya' process. i sat on his couch, taking in the smell and touch and vibrancy of his life. the record collection and rock'n'roll posters. stole a glance at his dvds. shouted cheers of approval inside my head and heart.

a jury summons lay on the table. he had filled out, in pencil, that he could not perform his duties as juror because it would interfere with his daily job as 'village idiot.'

i laughed and said 'you're not actually gonna send that?'

he shrugged in his dorky badass way, licked the stamp, and sent it off.

i knew then that he was cooler than i'd ever be. and gutsier. he struck me as someone who could very well be a train wreck, or a carnival ride, or a 10-alarm fire. and he could've been. but he was more than that. because he had all this potential for explosion and implosion, yet chose to make a really cool, beautful life for himself.

which is at least as cool as being the village idiot.

i was on time to jury duty yesterday, sat in on my designated pre-trial, answered my potential juror questions in a clear voice and to the best of my ability. i returned from lunch promptly and didn't request any extra breaks.

they didn't choose me.

i wonder if it was my incessant drooling or the pointy dunce cap that did it?