i, me

i was never a ballerina and i never loved horses.

i don't own or buy a lot of shoes.

i never found a man in uniform to be particularly sexy.

i am not a shopaholic

i am not a chocaholic

i don't love manicures

wait, i am a chocaholic

i don't cry if my pantyhose run

i don't wear pantyhose

i don't think boys are dumb

except the ones who are

i never say 'you go, girl'

yesterday i tried to steal a dessert tortoise from the natural history museum and make him my partner in crime.

i named him diego.

but the security guard caught me and made me give him back

i never did like a man in uniform