enchilada nirvana

during a cleanliness jag yesterday (call it, a 'scouring out emotional distress with pinesol' jag, if you must, it works for me)-

i discovered a long castaway notebook of mine. a small artifact from my few years past.

mostly it's filled with 'to do' lists and random stuff like this song list-

"kick out the jams: mc5, customer: replacements, bye bye love: george harrisson"

but there are also little veins of high grade quartz. forgotten memories.

"at rock'nroll hall of fame, looking at Nirvana exhibit with kahle and slim. slim quietly reading...suddenly "oh, i get it. nirvana. like 'enchilada nirvana!!'" she didn't know the band, but she knows the taco bell ad. yay america!"

she knows the band now. sliver's her favorite song. then we've got this poorly poetic missive that i kind-of like anyway-

"lips like sugar. steamy windows. warm mouths. soft tongue. stroking hair. stroking leg. wrapped up tight. lovingsweetsexyfun. softskinsoftkissdeeperkiss. damnyou, dagostino. eels how many times. head on my shoulder tucked in warm. kisses outside clothes blowing. warm air, pressing stroking friction. little moans. 'you are a brunette.' 1 night in echo park. crushing swoony."

and this snippet of song lyric by the halo benders-

"glass eyed tiger. trash vampire. i wish i glowed brighter in your eyes."

it's odd to look back on your not so distant past and find out you were pretty much the same as you are now.

thank the sweet baby jesus i'm not growing or anything.