i'm gorgeous inside!

the slogan is written in swirly red letters with an overly perky exclamation point!

one of those addendums they tack on to 'house for sale' signs. like

'reduced price!' or

'i have a pool!" or

"the family who was murdered here before were really bad people, even the kids, so don't let that deter you from buying!"

but the 'im gorgeous inside!" entreaty always strikes me as sad and desperate. the awkward girl making a midnight plea for the uninterested boy's attention.

it screams- "i know i'm not much to look at, but look again, i really am! look deeper. look deeper, damnit!"

it might as well say- "i have a really good personality!"

or the utah version- "i have a sweet spirit!"

now me, i don't have a pool, a reduced price, a murdered family, a winning personality, or a sweet spirit.

all i got is an unbelievably sweet ass. and that's good enough for me.